MERCY AND FORGIVENESS

MERCY AND FORGIVENESS

……ELUSIYAN TOLU’ FRANCIS

INTRODUCTION

Bless the Lord, O my soul and all that is within me, forgetting not his benefits, nor forgiveness of iniquity, bless Him, who brings healing and redemption to our lives, crowning us with loving kindness and with blessings, satisfies (psalm 103:1-5). Having learnt so many things about mercy, this section is very crucial for it apprehended all our discussions in the past and it also showcases another perspective that is more intensive and profound. And as a matter of fact one cannot talk about mercy without making allusion to forgiveness simply because they are very much expiated together. For if you are not merciful you cannot forgive. And to talk of mercy presupposes kindness, compassion, clemency etc.

MERCY IN THE LIGHT OF FORGIVENESS

 We are not oblivious of the fact that there is a lot to forgiveness and that is why in certain contexts, forgiveness is a legal term for absolving or giving up all claims on account of debt, loan, obligation, or other claims. Forgiveness could be considered simply in terms of who forgives including forgiving themselves, in terms of the person forgiven or in terms of the relationship between the forgiver and the person forgiven. In most contexts, forgiveness is granted without any expectation of restorative justice, and without any response on the part of the offender (for example, one may forgive a person who is incommunicado or dead). In practical terms, it may be necessary for the offender to offer some form of acknowledgement, an apology, or event just ask for forgiveness, in order for the wronged person to believe himself or able to forgive.

Let us take a look at these:

*Someone recklessly cuts in front of you on the highway, almost forcing you off the road

*Your friend still has not paid back the sixty dollars he borrowed a year ago

*Your family has been criticizing your life style

*You find out that your spouse has been unfaithful.

What do you do in situations like these? Can you forgive them? Should you forgive? Or should you give them what is coming to them?

We all are aware that the Holy Scripture teaches us to forgive others. But sometimes it seems like it is impossible to forgive, because the wrong that has been done is so great. Sometimes it seems like it just wouldn’t be fair to be merciful

When there seems to be a conflict between mercy and justice, it may be that we do not clearly understand the nature of genuine forgiveness and mercy. The Bible teaches us to show mercy in a way that lets us both fair and genuinely useful to all involved. One thing is that we sometimes get confused about mercy, is that we tend to replace mercy with artificial substitutes. Essentially, mercy is a divine quality. “To you, o lord, belongs mercy” (psalm 62:12)

Divine mercy has nothing in common with the petty revenge and “get-even” kind of “fairness” that tends to occupy our thoughts. And it has little in common with the superficial pardon or even condoning of evil that is sometimes passed off as mercy. The lord’s thoughts are far more merciful than ours. It is in speaking of his mercy that the lord says, “My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are my ways your ways” (Isaiah 55:7-9)

And one of the things that distinguish true mercy from its substitutes is its constancy. And that is why in the gospel of Matthew 18:21, 22 where peter came to Jesus asking, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven”. That shows mercy is that ability to be able to forgive again and again, just continue to forgive, forgiveness ad infinitum, it has no end.

A true forgiving person will not show mercy one moment and malice the next, because the two cannot mix together, for instance, to forgive your friends but not your enemies is not true mercy, because it would be done for the sake of some favor you might get in return. Love your enemies… for if you love those who love you, what rewards have you? (Matthew 5:44-46). We can truly be merciful by completely rejecting any desire for malice or revenge.

MERCY AS A WAY OF LIFE              

As part of the reflection that pope Francis offered in his final meditation for the Jubilee of priests and seminarians which was titled “the good odor of Christ and the light of his mercy”, the pope made them to understand that “being merciful, instead is not only “a way of life”, but “the way of life”. So mercy is not an abstract word, but rather a way of life: one decides to be merciful or not; and to paraphrase the words apostle James, it may be said that mercy without works is dead, as what renders it living out to the needy, to the aid of those who are spiritually and materially disadvantaged. “Mercy has eyes to see, ears to listen, and hands to console”

According to Pope Francis catechesis during the jubilee audience in St. Peter’s square, attended by around fifteen thousand people. Francis noted that, since in daily life we are aware of the needs of the poor and needy, we are called to respond to this condition of suffering. “At times we pass before situations of dramatic poverty and it seems as if it does not touch us; everything continues as if nothing were wrong, in an indifference that in the end makes us hypocrites and, without our awareness, leads to a form of spiritual lethargy that makes the heart insensitive and life sterile. People who pass by, who go ahead in life without taking account of the needs of others, without noticing the many spiritual and material needs, are people who are not useful to others. Remember, those who do not live to serve, are not useful in life”

Those who have experienced God’s mercy in their own life cannot remain indifferent to the needs of their brothers and sisters. Jesus’s teaching does not provide any means of escape: I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was in prison and you came to me. You cannot delay when faced with a person who is hungry: you must give something to eat. Jesus tells us this. The works of mercy are not theoretical ideas, but consist instead, of concrete witness. We need to roll up our selves to alleviate suffering’ says Pope Francis

As a result of the changes in today’s globalized world, some forms of material and spiritual poverty have multiplied and, he explained, we must therefore be creative in finding charitable solutions and identifying new working methods, so that the way of mercy can become increasingly concrete. We are therefore required to remain alert as sentinels, so that, faced with the poverty resulting from the culture of wellbeing, the Christian outlook does not become weak and unable to focus on the essential’ and this focusing on the essential means focusing on Jesus, looking at Jesus in the hungry, the imprisoned, the sick, the naked, in those without work who must maintain a family. Look upon Jesus in these brothers and sisters of ours; look upon Jesus in those who are lonely, sad, in those who have made mistakes and are in need to walk the path with him in silence in order to feel they are not alone. These are the works that Jesus asks of us. Look upon Jesus in them, in these people. Why? Because Jesus looks upon me, he looks upon all of us.

WORKS OF MERCY

The works of mercy have been traditionally divided into two categories and each with seven elements:

1.      Corporal works of mercy which concern the material needs of others

2.      Spiritual works of mercy which concern the spiritual needs of others

Based on the doctrine of Jesus Christ on the sheep and the goats, the corporal and spiritual works of mercy are a means of grace as good deeds and their omission is a reason for damnation. Because the messianic age will be a time of mercy, and because the church believes this age began at Jesus’s coming and believes Jesus obeyed every commandment and fulfilled the scriptures, Catholics perform the works of mercy.

In particular cases, a given individual will not be obligated or even competent to perform four of the spiritual works of mercy, namely: instructing the ignorant, counseling the doubtful, admonishing sinners, and comforting the afflicted. These works may require a definitely superior level of authority or knowledge or an extraordinary amount of tact. The other works of mercy, however, are considered to be an obligation of all faithful to practice unconditionally. In fact pope Francis suggested “ care for creation” as a new work of mercy. Corporally, it means simple daily gestures of peace and love; spiritually, it means contemplation of the world.

Corporal works of mercy are those that attend to the bodily needs of other creatures. They come from Isaiah 58 and the commandment of hospitality. The seventh work of mercy comes from the book of Tobit and from the commandment of burial, although it was not added to the list until the middle ages.

The works include:

1.      To feed the hungry

2.      To give drink to the thirsty

3.      To clothe the naked

4.      To welcome the stranger (previously referred to as “harbor the harbor less” and “shelter the homeless”)

5.      To visit the sick

6.      To visit the imprisoned (previously referred to as ransom the captive)

7.      To bury the dead.

8.      To care for our common home

The spiritual works of mercy

Just as the corporal works of mercy are directed towards relieving corporeal suffering, the aim of the spiritual works of mercy is to relieve spiritual suffering. The first four come from Ezekiel 33, the fifth comes from the commandment of forgiving others before receiving forgiveness from God, the sixth comes from Deuteronomy 15, and the seventh comes from Maccabees 2.

They include:

1.      To instruct the ignorant

2.      To counsel the doubtful

3.      To admonish sinners

4.      To bear patiently those who wrong us

5.      To forgive offenses

6.      To console the afflicted

7.      To pray for the living and the dead

8.      To care for our common home

THE POWER &GRACE THAT FORGIVENESS & RECONCILIATION CAN BRING TO OUR RELATIONSHIP.

One of the most frequent issues I deal with as a pastor is the issue of forgiveness. There is so much hurt among people and the tendency is to bottle it up in an unforgiving spirit. It would be easier to hold a grudge, but scripture is clear we have an obligation to forgive…just as we have been forgiven.

Whenever I address this issue, I get push back from those who say they cannot get over what was done to them. I remind them that the Bible does not say we must forget, but to forgive. There is a huge difference. It does not even say we should allow forgiveness to be an open door for continued abuse by someone. The goal is to free our heart by letting go of the anger, bitterness, and frustration with the person who wronged you.

This is not only because God commanded it, but practically speaking, the emotions brought on by failing to forgive begin to control you and serve no purpose to repair the relationship or you. Holding onto the pain certainly does not teach the other person a lesson or make them a better person. Of course, when the other person keeps causing new injury it makes it even tougher, but it does not release us from an obligation to forgive.

Forgiveness brings much to a person’s life:

It frees you from the emotional weight of the pain. It doesn’t take the pain away, but it releases the hold those emotions continue to have on your heart. Holding bitterness too tightly causes a range of negative emotions and even causes physical stress to a person.

Gives an earthly picture of grace. Most of the time there is no earthly or rational reason to forgive. Forgiveness gives something that is mostly undeserved. What a picture of God’s grace.

Helps you sleep better at Night. The emotional weight of an injury is often heavier than the actual injury and takes longer to heal. When a person forgives another, it feels as though pressure is released from one’s shoulders. Forgiving people have less stress and more joy, regardless of the pain in their life.

As a matter of fact, the most painful experience in life is being seriously and deliberately harmed by someone else.

Car crashes, even fatal ones, are accidents; no one sets out to deliberately injure or kill with their car. Cancer is also an impersonal attacker, an internal cellular malfunction. But when someone willfully abuses us, perhaps verbally, physically, financially, emotionally, that feels altogether different. That pushes our pain levels off the scale and can feel worse than the most serious physical injuries or diseases.

It was not an accident, it wasn’t a mistake, and it wasn’t a malfunction. Someone purposely decided to wrong and damage us. There is a personal choice, a human will, behind the pain.

That searing agony; was that not the worst part of Christ’s sufferings? Not so much the nails or the thorns, but the malice of the soldiers, the denial of peter, the desertion of the disciples, the betrayal of Judas, and above all, the felt abandonment by the Father.

Avoid or Attack: our most common responses to being abused are either attack or avoid, retaliate or distance, both of which result in even greater damage to ourselves and others, including anger, bitterness, resentment, and even depression. But there is an alternative to taking vengeance or taking cover and that is giving forgiveness.

Full forgiveness; the best kind of forgiveness is when our attacker or abuser confesses his sin asks for forgiveness, and we are enabled to do so from the heart, just as God for Christ’s sake did for us. This kind of reconciliation is one of the greatest joys for any Christian to experience. It is so liberating, so refreshing, and so exquisite.

However, what if there is no confession, no repentance, no request for forgiveness? We have maybe tried to bring the offender to repentance and reconciliation, but without success. What then?

Are we doomed to carry around this burden for the rest of our lives? Do we just keep turning our back or looking for an opportunity to get our own back? Or do we just forgive anyway, regardless of whether the person wants any forgiveness?

Lesser forgiveness; the answer is not avoidance, nor attack, but neither is it unconditional forgiveness, giving full forgiveness where none is sought. There is a fourth option: maybe we can call it ‘lesser forgiveness’

Lesser forgiveness has two parts. First, there is a forgiving attitude, being ready to forgive, eager to forgive, even praying for the opportunity to forgive. It’s about being forgiving without actually giving forgiveness. Second there is a giving of the matter over to God. It’s saying, I am not going to carry this around any longer. I am not going to attack or avoid, but neither can I reconcile. So I give it over to God, I let it loose from my heart, and I say, the judge of all the earth will do right.

Bitter or better? Although psychologists lack the theological basis for offering true forgiveness to their clients, they recognize that forgiveness helps bitter people become better people. In his book ‘the how of happiness’, Sonja lyubomirsky argues that whereas ‘preoccupation, hostility, and resentment that we harbor serve only to hurt us, both emotionally and physically’ empirical research confirms that forgiving people are:

1.      Happier

2.      Healthier

3.      More agreeable

4.      More serene

5.      Better able to empathize with others

6.      More spiritual or religious

7.      More capable of reestablishing closeness in relationship

That’s seven major benefits of forgiving, to which we can add the benefit of an improved relationship with God as well (Matthew 6:12, 14-15)

Amazingly, lyubomirsky’s first strategy for practicing forgiveness is to appreciate being forgiven! It’s a pity that it’s taken scientists a couple of thousand years to discover that what Jesus was teaching all these years ago is true.

*There is no sin that cannot be forgiven; Jesus in the Saint. Faustina Apparition

God is a God of mercy, mercy is originated from him and in fact he is mercy himself, there is no sin that is forgivable, for out of his mercy he gave us his only begotten son so that we can all be saved and indeed we have been saved, for the love of God endures forever, he is compassionate full of love and kindness. And that is why on almost every page of St.Faustina’s Diary, one perceives Jesus’ yearning that his mercy may be known without any limit on it. Thus on April 4, 1937, Sister Faustina received this invitation from him: ‘write this: everything that exists is enclosed in the bowels of my mercy, more deeply than an infant in its mother’s womb. How painfully distrust of my goodness wounds me! Sins of distrust wound me most painfully’ (diary, 1076)

And on Christmas Eve of that year, she received the following message:

“in order that you may know at least some of my pain, imagine the most tender of mothers who has great love for her children, while those children spurn her love. Consider her pain. No one is in a position to console her. This is but a feeble image and likeness of my love. Write, speak of my mercy. Tell souls where they are to look for solace; that is, in the tribunal of mercy (the sacrament of reconciliation). There the greatest miracles take place and are incessantly repeated. To avail oneself of this miracle, it is not necessary to go on a great pilgrimage or to carry out some external ceremony; it suffices to come with faith to the feet of my representative and to reveal to him one’s misery, and the miracle of divine mercy will be fully demonstrated. Were a soul like a decaying corpse so that from a human standpoint, there would be no hope of restoration and everything would already be lost, it is not so with God. The miracle of divine mercy restores that soul in full. Oh, how miserable are those who do not take advantage of the miracle of God’s mercy! You will call out in vain, but it will be too late.”(Diary, 1447-48)

Conclusively, as on can see, words of boundless tenderness spring from the mouth of Jesus’ words are definitively rooted in ecclesial language with references to the ‘tribunal of mercy’ and the woeful warning to avoid falling into the abyss of ‘too late’, which nevertheless remains a serious possibility if one so chooses. In a way as never before, the message given to St. Faustina throws open the depths of mercy, which can welcome and contain everything, except the derision of God.

REFRENCES:

THE GOOD NEWS BIBLE

THE SAINTS IN MERCY “Pastoral Resources for living the Jubilee” Our Sunday visitor Publishing Division, our Sunday visitor, Inc., 200 Noll Plaza, Huntington, 2015.

THE JUBILEE OF MERCY “Guide to the extraordinary Holy Year December 8, 2015-November 20, 2016, Lozzi Roma publication, 2015

THE PSALMS OF MERCY “Pastoral Resources for living the Jubilee” Our Sunday Visitor publishing Division, Huntington, 2015

THE CORPORAL AND SPIRITUAL WORKS OF MERCY “Pastoral Resources for living the Jubilee” Our Sunday Visitor Publishing Division, Huntington, 2015.

THE PARABLE OF MERCY “Pastoral Resources for living the Jubilee” Our Sunday visitor Publishing Division, our Sunday visitor, Inc., 200 Noll Plaza, Huntington, 2015.