THE CURRENT FAMOUS QUOTES OF ROBERT MUGABE

THE CURRENT FAMOUS QUOTES OF ROBERT MUGABE

COMPLIED BY TOLU’ ELUSIYAN

A) When you receive your salary...you will begin eating chicken, When the salary begin declining to eat chicken products (eggs) when it continues ending up you eat chicken food( millet, maize).After the whole salary finish you now become chicken itself…moving around looking for what to eat..

B.) Some girls are funny, they will tell a guy that “it’s over between us” when the guy says okay, she will be like “just like that?” what were you expecting my sister?? A closing ceremony?

C.) You keep asking every girl on Facebook for their contact….my brother, do 

you register SIM cards??

D.) I hate when someone wake me up early morning which happens to be the time that i do enjoy my sleep and says ''wake up boy, it's morning, sun is out!''...so? What am i supposed to do?, photosynthesis?

E)  Ladies if your Ex text you and say “I still love you and i want you back"
My sister just reply "i don't do part 2's I’m not a Nigerian movie"

F.) Data is so expensive in Africa, you sleep with your data on 1.7 GB you wake up in the morning with 100MB...it’s like your dreams were Online.

G.) A man fainted in front of KFC yesterday morning. People rushed to him and someone said 'bring some water and pour it out on him'. The man opened his eyes and replied" if I needed water, I would have fainted in front of Water Company". Look at where I fainted from and do the right thing.

H.) Bleaching your skin still u shine brighter is not a problem, but the problem is having White face, Yellow hands, Chocolate lips and Black legs. My sister, Are you a Zebra or Hyena?

J.) Girls that look like Rihanna on Facebook, Beyonce on Twitter, Nicki Minaj on Instagram and Zuma in real life should be arrested for misleading the public.

L) Have you heard of a journalist who wrote RIP MUGABE in Zimbabwe's national newspaper?. I ordered him to be arrested, taken to court & asked to defend himself.....Then he said R.I.P stands for *"Remain In Power."* Case closed😂😂

M) When two girls are walking 🚶 and you want the pretty one, don't call her direct, else the ugly one will pull her and tell you they are in a hurry... Call the ugly, tell her she's beautiful, after she's done smiling and say thank you 😊, you then ask her to call you her friend. 😂😂😂😂😂

N) I was in the public toilets and had just sat down, a voice from the next cubicle said “Hi!, how are you?”
Embarrassed, I said, “I’m doing fine”.
The voice said “So what are you up to?”.
I said, “Just doing the same as you, sitting here!”.
From next door, “Can I come over?”.
Annoyed, I said, “rather busy right now”.
The voice said, “Listen, i will have to call you back, there’s an idiot next door answering all my questions”.

O) luck is when you are in Church seated with your landlord and then the pastor says tell your neighbor that Jesus has already paid my debt

P) In Japan a 17yr old is a doctor
_In Brasil a 17yr old is a footballer
_In India a 17yr old is a shop owner
_In China a 17yr old is an engineer
_In Iraq a 17yr old is a Soldier
_In USA a 17yr old is a celebrity
_In Israel a 17 yr old is a priest
_In Africa a 25yr old is awhatsapp group admin

Q) There is no record of a female Angel in the bible..... Ladies, if any guy calls you Angel, trust me He's a false prophet

R) Dear guys
If you are sittin next to a beautiful lady in a taxi and she starts smiling at you. My brother don't smile back i repeat don't smile back untill she pays her taxi fare, January is tough .

S) Text your girl all day she's gonna think it's cute and all but really... the goal is to kill her battery so she can't text other guys 

T) You can identify a girl who is a virgin by the way she urinates. If she urinates and the sound goes like Tiziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii know she is virgin. But if she urinates like Shwaaaaaaaaaaa as if you have switched on bathroom showers, My brother I have a story to tell you!

U) If you are in a relationship with a lady and she tells you she is keeping her body for her future husband. Don't worry my brother just tell her that you are also saving your money for your future wife.

V) I don't know the spirit that comes with bottled water, Whenever a black man buys it, he starts behaving like he is the richest man in the community.