MERCY
AND FORGIVENESS
……ELUSIYAN TOLU’ FRANCIS
INTRODUCTION
Bless the Lord, O my
soul and all that is within me, forgetting not his benefits, nor forgiveness of
iniquity, bless Him, who brings healing and redemption to our lives, crowning
us with loving kindness and with blessings, satisfies (psalm 103:1-5). Having
learnt so many things about mercy, this section is very crucial for it apprehended
all our discussions in the past and it also showcases another perspective that
is more intensive and profound. And as a matter of fact one cannot talk about
mercy without making allusion to forgiveness simply because they are very much expiated
together. For if you are not merciful you cannot forgive. And to talk of mercy
presupposes kindness, compassion, clemency etc.
MERCY
IN THE LIGHT OF FORGIVENESS
We are not oblivious of the fact that there is
a lot to forgiveness and that is why in certain contexts, forgiveness is a
legal term for absolving or giving up all claims on account of debt, loan,
obligation, or other claims. Forgiveness could be considered simply in terms of
who forgives including forgiving themselves, in terms of the person forgiven or
in terms of the relationship between the forgiver and the person forgiven. In
most contexts, forgiveness is granted without any expectation of restorative
justice, and without any response on the part of the offender (for example, one
may forgive a person who is incommunicado or dead). In practical terms, it may
be necessary for the offender to offer some form of acknowledgement, an
apology, or event just ask for forgiveness, in order for the wronged person to
believe himself or able to forgive.
Let us take a look at
these:
*Someone recklessly
cuts in front of you on the highway, almost forcing you off the road
*Your friend still has
not paid back the sixty dollars he borrowed a year ago
*Your family has been
criticizing your life style
*You find out that your
spouse has been unfaithful.
What do you do in
situations like these? Can you forgive them? Should you forgive? Or should you
give them what is coming to them?
We all are aware that
the Holy Scripture teaches us to forgive others. But sometimes it seems like it
is impossible to forgive, because the wrong that has been done is so great.
Sometimes it seems like it just wouldn’t be fair to be merciful
When there seems to be
a conflict between mercy and justice, it may be that we do not clearly
understand the nature of genuine forgiveness and mercy. The Bible teaches us to
show mercy in a way that lets us both fair and genuinely useful to all
involved. One thing is that we sometimes get confused about mercy, is that we
tend to replace mercy with artificial substitutes. Essentially, mercy is a
divine quality. “To you, o lord, belongs mercy” (psalm 62:12)
Divine mercy has
nothing in common with the petty revenge and “get-even” kind of “fairness” that
tends to occupy our thoughts. And it has little in common with the superficial
pardon or even condoning of evil that is sometimes passed off as mercy. The
lord’s thoughts are far more merciful than ours. It is in speaking of his mercy
that the lord says, “My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are my ways your
ways” (Isaiah 55:7-9)
And one of the things
that distinguish true mercy from its substitutes is its constancy. And that is
why in the gospel of Matthew 18:21, 22 where peter came to Jesus asking, “Lord,
how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven
times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to
seventy times seven”. That shows mercy is that ability to be able to forgive
again and again, just continue to forgive, forgiveness ad infinitum, it has no
end.
A true forgiving person
will not show mercy one moment and malice the next, because the two cannot mix
together, for instance, to forgive your friends but not your enemies is not
true mercy, because it would be done for the sake of some favor you might get
in return. Love your enemies… for if you love those who love you, what rewards
have you? (Matthew 5:44-46). We can truly be merciful by completely rejecting
any desire for malice or revenge.
MERCY AS A WAY OF LIFE
As part of the
reflection that pope Francis offered in his final meditation for the Jubilee of
priests and seminarians which was titled “the good odor of Christ and the light
of his mercy”, the pope made them to understand that “being merciful, instead
is not only “a way of life”, but “the way of life”. So mercy is not an abstract
word, but rather a way of life: one decides to be merciful or not; and to
paraphrase the words apostle James, it may be said that mercy without works is
dead, as what renders it living out to the needy, to the aid of those who are
spiritually and materially disadvantaged. “Mercy has eyes to see, ears to
listen, and hands to console”
According to Pope Francis
catechesis during the jubilee audience in St. Peter’s square, attended by
around fifteen thousand people. Francis noted that, since in daily life we are
aware of the needs of the poor and needy, we are called to respond to this
condition of suffering. “At times we pass before situations of dramatic poverty
and it seems as if it does not touch us; everything continues as if nothing
were wrong, in an indifference that in the end makes us hypocrites and, without
our awareness, leads to a form of spiritual lethargy that makes the heart
insensitive and life sterile. People who pass by, who go ahead in life without
taking account of the needs of others, without noticing the many spiritual and
material needs, are people who are not useful to others. Remember, those who do
not live to serve, are not useful in life”
Those who have
experienced God’s mercy in their own life cannot remain indifferent to the
needs of their brothers and sisters. Jesus’s teaching does not provide any
means of escape: I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave
me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was in prison and you came to
me. You cannot delay when faced with a person who is hungry: you must give
something to eat. Jesus tells us this. The works of mercy are not theoretical
ideas, but consist instead, of concrete witness. We need to roll up our selves
to alleviate suffering’ says Pope Francis
As a result of the
changes in today’s globalized world, some forms of material and spiritual
poverty have multiplied and, he explained, we must therefore be creative in
finding charitable solutions and identifying new working methods, so that the
way of mercy can become increasingly concrete. We are therefore required to
remain alert as sentinels, so that, faced with the poverty resulting from the
culture of wellbeing, the Christian outlook does not become weak and unable to
focus on the essential’ and this focusing on the essential means focusing on Jesus,
looking at Jesus in the hungry, the imprisoned, the sick, the naked, in those
without work who must maintain a family. Look upon Jesus in these brothers and
sisters of ours; look upon Jesus in those who are lonely, sad, in those who
have made mistakes and are in need to walk the path with him in silence in
order to feel they are not alone. These are the works that Jesus asks of us.
Look upon Jesus in them, in these people. Why? Because Jesus looks upon me, he
looks upon all of us.
WORKS
OF MERCY
The works of mercy have
been traditionally divided into two categories and each with seven elements:
1.
Corporal works of mercy which concern
the material needs of others
2.
Spiritual works of mercy which concern
the spiritual needs of others
Based on the doctrine
of Jesus Christ on the sheep and the goats, the corporal and spiritual works of
mercy are a means of grace as good deeds and their omission is a reason for
damnation. Because the messianic age will be a time of mercy, and because the
church believes this age began at Jesus’s coming and believes Jesus obeyed
every commandment and fulfilled the scriptures, Catholics perform the works of
mercy.
In particular cases, a
given individual will not be obligated or even competent to perform four of the
spiritual works of mercy, namely: instructing the ignorant, counseling the
doubtful, admonishing sinners, and comforting the afflicted. These works may
require a definitely superior level of authority or knowledge or an
extraordinary amount of tact. The other works of mercy, however, are considered
to be an obligation of all faithful to practice unconditionally. In fact pope Francis
suggested “ care for creation” as a new work of mercy. Corporally, it means
simple daily gestures of peace and love; spiritually, it means contemplation of
the world.
Corporal works of mercy
are those that attend to the bodily needs of other creatures. They come from
Isaiah 58 and the commandment of hospitality. The seventh work of mercy comes
from the book of Tobit and from the commandment of burial, although it was not
added to the list until the middle ages.
The works include:
1.
To feed the hungry
2.
To give drink to the thirsty
3.
To clothe the naked
4.
To welcome the stranger (previously
referred to as “harbor the harbor less” and “shelter the homeless”)
5.
To visit the sick
6.
To visit the imprisoned (previously
referred to as ransom the captive)
7.
To bury the dead.
8.
To care for our common home
The spiritual works of
mercy
Just as the corporal
works of mercy are directed towards relieving corporeal suffering, the aim of
the spiritual works of mercy is to relieve spiritual suffering. The first four
come from Ezekiel 33, the fifth comes from the commandment of forgiving others
before receiving forgiveness from God, the sixth comes from Deuteronomy 15, and
the seventh comes from Maccabees 2.
They include:
1.
To instruct the ignorant
2.
To counsel the doubtful
3.
To admonish sinners
4.
To bear patiently those who wrong us
5.
To forgive offenses
6.
To console the afflicted
7.
To pray for the living and the dead
8.
To care for our common home
THE
POWER &GRACE THAT FORGIVENESS & RECONCILIATION CAN BRING TO OUR
RELATIONSHIP.
One of the most
frequent issues I deal with as a pastor is the issue of forgiveness. There is
so much hurt among people and the tendency is to bottle it up in an unforgiving
spirit. It would be easier to hold a grudge, but scripture is clear we have an
obligation to forgive…just as we have been forgiven.
Whenever I address this
issue, I get push back from those who say they cannot get over what was done to
them. I remind them that the Bible does not say we must forget, but to forgive.
There is a huge difference. It does not even say we should allow forgiveness to
be an open door for continued abuse by someone. The goal is to free our heart
by letting go of the anger, bitterness, and frustration with the person who
wronged you.
This is not only
because God commanded it, but practically speaking, the emotions brought on by
failing to forgive begin to control you and serve no purpose to repair the
relationship or you. Holding onto the pain certainly does not teach the other
person a lesson or make them a better person. Of course, when the other person
keeps causing new injury it makes it even tougher, but it does not release us
from an obligation to forgive.
Forgiveness brings much
to a person’s life:
It
frees you from the emotional weight of the pain.
It doesn’t take the pain away, but it releases the hold those emotions continue
to have on your heart. Holding bitterness too tightly causes a range of
negative emotions and even causes physical stress to a person.
Gives
an earthly picture of grace. Most of the time there is no
earthly or rational reason to forgive. Forgiveness gives something that is
mostly undeserved. What a picture of God’s grace.
Helps
you sleep better at Night. The emotional weight of an injury
is often heavier than the actual injury and takes longer to heal. When a person
forgives another, it feels as though pressure is released from one’s shoulders.
Forgiving people have less stress and more joy, regardless of the pain in their
life.
As a matter of fact,
the most painful experience in life is being seriously and deliberately harmed
by someone else.
Car crashes, even fatal
ones, are accidents; no one sets out to deliberately injure or kill with their
car. Cancer is also an impersonal attacker, an internal cellular malfunction.
But when someone willfully abuses us, perhaps verbally, physically,
financially, emotionally, that feels altogether different. That pushes our pain
levels off the scale and can feel worse than the most serious physical injuries
or diseases.
It was not an accident,
it wasn’t a mistake, and it wasn’t a malfunction. Someone purposely decided to
wrong and damage us. There is a personal choice, a human will, behind the pain.
That searing agony; was
that not the worst part of Christ’s sufferings? Not so much the nails or the
thorns, but the malice of the soldiers, the denial of peter, the desertion of
the disciples, the betrayal of Judas, and above all, the felt abandonment by the
Father.
Avoid or Attack: our
most common responses to being abused are either attack or avoid, retaliate or
distance, both of which result in even greater damage to ourselves and others,
including anger, bitterness, resentment, and even depression. But there is an
alternative to taking vengeance or taking cover and that is giving forgiveness.
Full forgiveness; the
best kind of forgiveness is when our attacker or abuser confesses his sin asks
for forgiveness, and we are enabled to do so from the heart, just as God for Christ’s
sake did for us. This kind of reconciliation is one of the greatest joys for
any Christian to experience. It is so liberating, so refreshing, and so
exquisite.
However, what if there
is no confession, no repentance, no request for forgiveness? We have maybe
tried to bring the offender to repentance and reconciliation, but without
success. What then?
Are we doomed to carry
around this burden for the rest of our lives? Do we just keep turning our back
or looking for an opportunity to get our own back? Or do we just forgive
anyway, regardless of whether the person wants any forgiveness?
Lesser forgiveness; the
answer is not avoidance, nor attack, but neither is it unconditional
forgiveness, giving full forgiveness where none is sought. There is a fourth
option: maybe we can call it ‘lesser forgiveness’
Lesser forgiveness has
two parts. First, there is a forgiving attitude, being ready to forgive, eager
to forgive, even praying for the opportunity to forgive. It’s about being
forgiving without actually giving forgiveness. Second there is a giving of the
matter over to God. It’s saying, I am not going to carry this around any
longer. I am not going to attack or avoid, but neither can I reconcile. So I
give it over to God, I let it loose from my heart, and I say, the judge of all
the earth will do right.
Bitter or better?
Although psychologists lack the theological basis for offering true forgiveness
to their clients, they recognize that forgiveness helps bitter people become
better people. In his book ‘the how of happiness’, Sonja lyubomirsky argues
that whereas ‘preoccupation, hostility, and resentment that we harbor serve
only to hurt us, both emotionally and physically’ empirical research confirms
that forgiving people are:
1.
Happier
2.
Healthier
3.
More agreeable
4.
More serene
5.
Better able to empathize with others
6.
More spiritual or religious
7.
More capable of reestablishing closeness
in relationship
That’s
seven major benefits of forgiving, to which we can add the benefit of an
improved relationship with God as well (Matthew 6:12, 14-15)
Amazingly,
lyubomirsky’s first strategy for practicing forgiveness is to appreciate being
forgiven! It’s a pity that it’s taken scientists a couple of thousand years to
discover that what Jesus was teaching all these years ago is true.
*There is no sin that cannot be forgiven;
Jesus in the Saint. Faustina Apparition
God
is a God of mercy, mercy is originated from him and in fact he is mercy
himself, there is no sin that is forgivable, for out of his mercy he gave us his
only begotten son so that we can all be saved and indeed we have been saved,
for the love of God endures forever, he is compassionate full of love and
kindness. And that is why on almost every page of St.Faustina’s Diary, one
perceives Jesus’ yearning that his mercy may be known without any limit on it.
Thus on April 4, 1937, Sister Faustina received this invitation from him:
‘write this: everything that exists is enclosed in the bowels of my mercy, more
deeply than an infant in its mother’s womb. How painfully distrust of my
goodness wounds me! Sins of distrust wound me most painfully’ (diary, 1076)
And on Christmas Eve of that year,
she received the following message:
“in
order that you may know at least some of my pain, imagine the most tender of mothers
who has great love for her children, while those children spurn her love.
Consider her pain. No one is in a position to console her. This is but a feeble
image and likeness of my love. Write, speak of my mercy. Tell souls where they
are to look for solace; that is, in the tribunal of mercy (the sacrament of
reconciliation). There the greatest miracles take place and are incessantly
repeated. To avail oneself of this miracle, it is not necessary to go on a
great pilgrimage or to carry out some external ceremony; it suffices to come
with faith to the feet of my representative and to reveal to him one’s misery,
and the miracle of divine mercy will be fully demonstrated. Were a soul like a
decaying corpse so that from a human standpoint, there would be no hope of
restoration and everything would already be lost, it is not so with God. The
miracle of divine mercy restores that soul in full. Oh, how miserable are those
who do not take advantage of the miracle of God’s mercy! You will call out in
vain, but it will be too late.”(Diary, 1447-48)
Conclusively,
as on can see, words of boundless tenderness spring from the mouth of Jesus’
words are definitively rooted in ecclesial language with references to the
‘tribunal of mercy’ and the woeful warning to avoid falling into the abyss of
‘too late’, which nevertheless remains a serious possibility if one so chooses.
In a way as never before, the message given to St. Faustina throws open the
depths of mercy, which can welcome and contain everything, except the derision
of God.
REFRENCES:
THE
GOOD NEWS BIBLE
THE
SAINTS IN MERCY “Pastoral Resources for living the Jubilee”
Our Sunday visitor Publishing Division, our Sunday visitor, Inc., 200 Noll
Plaza, Huntington, 2015.
THE
JUBILEE OF MERCY “Guide to the extraordinary Holy Year
December 8, 2015-November 20, 2016, Lozzi Roma publication, 2015
THE
PSALMS OF MERCY “Pastoral Resources for living the Jubilee”
Our Sunday Visitor publishing Division, Huntington, 2015
THE
CORPORAL AND SPIRITUAL WORKS OF MERCY “Pastoral Resources for living the
Jubilee” Our Sunday Visitor Publishing Division, Huntington, 2015.
THE
PARABLE OF MERCY “Pastoral Resources for living the Jubilee”
Our Sunday visitor Publishing Division, our Sunday visitor, Inc., 200 Noll
Plaza, Huntington, 2015.
